I Wonder

I wonder sometimes as to what you may look like

If you are tall, short, thick or thin

Could you be what turns my head

Or will you be a pleasant surprise that originally never summoned a second glance

 

Maybe I’ve already met you

Or maybe we are years from you placing your eyes on mine

My hope is that it won’t be too much longer

As my curious, imaginative desires cannot endure much more time

Nearer to You

I draw myself nearer to You
Seeking refuge from my wandering
Forsaking binds that once were a comfort
Crumbling walls I’ve only peaked through

Drawing nearer to you
Finding courage in Your promises
Yet lacking bravery to fully commit
But I press in trusting Your path

Nearer to You
I am reminded that I am mighty
I am complete
I am Yours

Thoughts on Conviction

Pointing_fingerWhy do we view conviction so negatively? And why do we run from it? Without conviction, how can we expect freedom? The church should be convicting because ultimately Jesus convicted the hearts of the poor and the defeated out of love not arrogance or judgement. He was sent to be relatable not as if He were better than any of the rest of us. And although He was better and without sin, He walked the path of sinners and suffered a death as if He were one. That’s how He changed and continues to change hearts all over the world.

Therefore, if the church is His bride then we need to marry the idea of honest conviction with humble acceptance and overwhelming forgiveness. We should not be afraid to confront other Christians, non believers or doubters. For Jesus spoke calmly but was firm in his expectations. We go wrong when we live out the negative connotation that we’ve given to conviction and we start pointing fingers and turn up our nose at our fellow sinners. A sin is a sin, no matter what the gravity of the situation so we should remember to put ourselves in the shoes of others. We’ve all been through valleys, let us recognize those seasons in others and help bring them through it, not to make them feel guilty but human.

In my experience, the ones that turn away or run from conviction need the most love. And that should be our first sign to humble ourselves and stretch out a forgiving hand. It’s really in our approach as a church. Let us be like Jesus and be honest and convict hearts to better them not bury them. Let us boast of our past convictions to be relatable and humble ourselves as the Father did through His son, Jesus Christ. Let us not condemn but raise up, let us not scare away the broken-hearted but embrace their faults with our own. Let us award honesty with a challenge to go further in faith and deeper in relationships. Then, together we can continue to invite God to dwell within us and within those around us. Lord, convict our hearts so that we may become better disciples and hold us accountable as we shall hold others accountable to Your will and calling on our lives.

Unyielding Heart

My love is not the overwhelming kind

Yet my heart is not any less fragile

I may not speak in romantic prose, my tongue may bite

But I will drown myself in suffocating doubt

As my lungs fill with desire

 

I will breathe in even your weightless words

And the fear of breath loss will coincidentally cause a collapse

For the depths of my emotions are a challenge for even experienced divers

Including obstacles to ware off any hungry sharks

Because settling is not a viable option when your hopes are your only life support

 

Then a stillness will come in the free-fall

As my unyielding heart bears the burden of the journey

And the scars of past mistakes provide reassurance to a promising future

Because although my love is not the overwhelming kind

My heart is not any less fragile to cracks of unexpected chances to be taken

An Endless Second

I sometimes find myself fighting for you to surface

And because I lack in force, I grow weary in spirit

Then our antagonist pushes to sink you deeper and deeper

 

My breath shortens and my heart’s staccato pounding accelerates

Just enough to lose visions of what truly holds weight

I stand puzzled as to where we left off and unsure as to which direction leads closer to you

 

But hope taps on my shoulder as a conductor taps his baton on his music stand

To signify the ready and the set but it’s up to me for the go

And that last second will feel endless as I long for understanding of a future you already know