Category: Thoughts

Thoughts on Conviction

~ Em ~ Leave a comment

Pointing_fingerWhy do we view conviction so negatively? And why do we run from it? Without conviction, how can we expect freedom? The church should be convicting because ultimately Jesus convicted the hearts of the poor and the defeated out of love not arrogance or judgement. He was sent to be relatable not as if He were better than any of the rest of us. And although He was better and without sin, He walked the path of sinners and suffered a death as if He were one. That’s how He changed and continues to change hearts all over the world.

Therefore, if the church is His bride then we need to marry the idea of honest conviction with humble acceptance and overwhelming forgiveness. We should not be afraid to confront other Christians, non believers or doubters. For Jesus spoke calmly but was firm in his expectations. We go wrong when we live out the negative connotation that we’ve given to conviction and we start pointing fingers and turn up our nose at our fellow sinners. A sin is a sin, no matter what the gravity of the situation so we should remember to put ourselves in the shoes of others. We’ve all been through valleys, let us recognize those seasons in others and help bring them through it, not to make them feel guilty but human.

In my experience, the ones that turn away or run from conviction need the most love. And that should be our first sign to humble ourselves and stretch out a forgiving hand. It’s really in our approach as a church. Let us be like Jesus and be honest and convict hearts to better them not bury them. Let us boast of our past convictions to be relatable and humble ourselves as the Father did through His son, Jesus Christ. Let us not condemn but raise up, let us not scare away the broken-hearted but embrace their faults with our own. Let us award honesty with a challenge to go further in faith and deeper in relationships. Then, together we can continue to invite God to dwell within us and within those around us. Lord, convict our hearts so that we may become better disciples and hold us accountable as we shall hold others accountable to Your will and calling on our lives.

Perspective

~ Em ~ Leave a comment

It’s amazing what a little change in perspective can do to your life. I have grown more in the past year than I have in the past five years all because I decided to change my perspective. I decided to have a more positive outlook on things and to look for the silver lining in every struggle I faced. Even though God blesses me on a daily basis with so much, I still wanted more. I couldn’t see that He gives me all that I need to come through every storm.

black-star-glasses-md

For awhile I thought I was somehow being punished because there was this lack of growth and backtracking in my life. I hated my job, lost all focus and drive and was completely unhappy. I asked Him to make things better for me but what I was missing was that things are already pretty great. I saw that God was keeping me in the valley because all I was focusing on was what it would be like on the mountain top. Don’t get me wrong, He wants us to envision the mountain tops in our lives but what He taught me in the valley was to focus more on what I have a my lowest and how that will get me up the mountain.

You just have to realize that what you have and who you are is enough. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work on bettering yourself. This means that when you put less on what is inhibiting you from growing closer to God and start counting your blessings, God will bring you up that mountain. Of course this doesn’t always happen overnight, so “until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway.” (Orebela Gbenga) I’ve learned this lesson the hard way but I now know that having a more positive perspective will help me get through every storm and climb every mountain that crosses my path. 

Therefore, I pray that as a generation, we learn to become less greedy and more grateful for things we do have and to not focus on what you don’t. I pray that God speaks in our lives on a more regular basis so that our hearts are satisfied with the route God has us on. God, I just ask you to guide us in our diligence so that our rejoicing and praise is the same in Your quietness and as it is in Your presence.

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

 Orebela Gbenga

Anchor

~ Em ~ Leave a comment

Regrets sink it to depths

Deep dark blues surround it

As it drops it takes the light with it

The free fall is messy and unpredictable

In the descending it becomes blind

Unable to seek refuge from the capsizing

It reaches for ledges to decelerate the plunge

But that only diverges the path

The inevitable plummet is needed

Its security will create stillness

A calmness where mercy is given

As the iron digs into the floor

It becomes a cornerstone of protection

It fights against the doubt

Battles the decaying of the foundation

And guards the spoiling of its fruit

The stronghold grips the rope

It leaves enough slack for growth and extension

But it holds tight enough to keep one from getting lost

 

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19

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What inspired this poem was the thought that hope is what keeps things going but what also keeps things in check as well. Hope keeps us anchored in our faith. What would we have faith in if we didn’t have hope for redemption, hope to see Jesus in heaven or hope for better things, a better life? I’ve been growing deeper in my faith recently and always seem to hit a plateau. But I have discovered that hope is what keeps me walking that plateau until He is ready for me to take that climb to the next level. And it’s His love that gives me the confidence to actually make the climb. I pray that my hope will keep my faith secure and strong to help fight against the detours and stumbling blocks along my path.

What’s Your God SHAPE?

~ Em ~ Leave a comment

potter_sLast Sunday I was invited by one of my favorite customers to attend her church. We have shared a lot with each other about our faith walks and recently I have been trying out different churches so she invited me to hers. After attending her church’s Sunday service, I was very moved by the pastor’s message: How did God SHAPE you and how are you using your SHAPE? It was a part of his series about learning to live in God’s will. The sermon was supported by Erik Rees’ book, S.H.A.P.E. Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life.

Upon entering the church, I was starting to back slide into this doubt that I had before the church camp I attended a month earlier. (see post)  I wasn’t sure if I was where I needed to be spiritually and vocationally. But after hearing the sermon I remembered that God is simply keeping me in places for a reason. He is using my SHAPE to fulfill His purpose for me.

God’s SHAPES us according to His plan. (Jeremiah 1:5) We are all unique and none of us are completely alike. He does this so that we can learn from each other and share our talents with others. These SHAPES are not meant to be compared or envied. They are meant to raise others up. We each have our own SHAPE, we just have to identify it and put it into our hands for use. Here’s what our SHAPES look like:

S- Spiritual Gifts Special talents that God has given you to share His love.

H-Heart What God wants your heart to break for, your passions.

A-Abilities What God made you good at so that you will be good to others.

P-Personalities/People Your make-up, how God wired you.

E-Experiences The mountains you have moved and you have climbed using His strength.

So how has God SHAPED you? What are your spiritual gifts? We all were given gifts of faith, hope and love to fight the good fight but we were also all individually given gifts that are unique to us. Are we using them? Have we even identified them yet? Our hearts are made to love, do we love to the best of our abilities? What about your personality, what traits set you apart from the world? Do you hide those traits or are you using them to minister to others? Have your experiences become testimonies for change?

These are the questions that were raised but many more came to mind for me. Those questions I asked myself were not answered very quickly. I had to really think about my past, my personality, my relationships, my talents and my service to others. Then I realized how great the potential God has created for all of us. It’s really breath-taking if you think about it. Just look at some of the most successful, charitable people in the world and the potential they lived up to. It’s like looking out across the ocean and seeing how wide and vast it is, that’s our potential. We just have to learn to be like Peter, take that first step onto the water without taking our eyes off of the Lord. We gain confidence in taking that step out of the boat when we recognize that the SHAPE God gave us was made to support and fulfill the potential He sees in us.

I am not afraid to admit that I don’t live up to that potential because I don’t recognize that my SHAPE is special and useful. But I truly believe that we can live up to our potential when we identify our special SHAPES and use them. So this is my prayer, that I learn all of the ways that God has made me unique. That I recognize that I am shaped according to His plan and that He will reveal to me in due time why I am to go through the things He puts me through, why I meet the people I meet and why I am the way I am.

“Family of Israel, you know that I can do the same thing with you. You are like the clay in the potter’s hands, and I am the potter.” This message is from the Lord. Jeremiah 18:6

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

Camp Converge

~ Em ~ 1 Comment

campconvergeIt has taken me awhile to put my thoughts together for this post considering it has been more than a month since I returned from Camp Converge with Maranatha Fellowship Church in Charleston, West Virginia. But those few days I spent being emptied and filled by the Holy Spirit were life changing. Growing up Catholic and not too well off, my siblings and I never got the opportunity to go to church camp or really any camp at all. Since my oldest brother, Matthew, got involved in Maranatha he has had the chance to go for the past couple of years and has invited me to go with him. I was finally able to go this year and I guess I feel like it was perfect timing. Two or three years ago I would have not been ready or mature enough in my faith walk to go.

In the months leading up to camp I was questioning my purpose in this world. I was having a really rough time at work and I had just gotten out of a relationship. So I put it in God’s hands and it was Him who got me up to Ohio for Camp Converge physically, emotionally and spiritually. I spent the first hour of the trip crying. As embarrassing as it is to admit and to actually do, I had to release these emotions because I felt like a failure. Vocationally I was lost, I had just failed in my relationship with my boyfriend and I was backsliding in my most important relationship, the one with God. I was discouraged in my faith, hope and love and was losing sight of what really mattered in life.

Arriving at the camp, I was really nervous but excited about what was to come. Usually before I do anything I tend to set expectations but I told myself I was just going to be in the moment, experience things for what they were and not have any expectations for the days to come. And I did, I was able to just be there and soak it all up.

The first night we had service and I released it all…or so I thought. Every single service had a way of pulling all of the darkness out. It was a build up of emotions and a physical release, a lightening of sorts. One of the first messages that stood out for me was that before seeking His purpose for you, you have to seek His presence. The idea of being open enough to the presence of the Lord was a foreign thought and feeling for me but it quickly all made sense. I just needed to open my heart, my eyes and my ears to Him. I had to let go of all of my preconceptions and expectations and just ask Him to enter into my heart. This has since become a routine for me, to get to that place I was at camp where I was completely in His presence. When I’m in His presence I am free, there are no chains locking me down, no heaviness weighing on my shoulders and no inhibitions holding me back. How can there be? He knows everything about me, He made me.

Another point that I have taken home with me from camp is to dive deep into His word. No matter what church, no matter what pastor, no matter what worship, the Bible is the law. If you want to draw closer to God, if you want to hear Him speak, you start by reading, studying and living the word. I’ve always known this and although I haven’t always done this, this message was what I needed to hear that night. Like I said, I was raised catholic and with coming to a Pentecostal church camp, I starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Of course you are going to have those breakthroughs when the music is pumping and we are all dancing, singing, praising the Lord, but you’ve got to have those breakdowns and buildups in your home life too. You find it in your prayer life when you are talking to Him, you find it reading His actual words and parables for us, you find it in His presence.

Lastly, even though I could probably go on forever, I learned what it means to be anointed by the Holy Spirit. I can’t even put into words what I witnessed or what I felt when I encountered the Holy Spirit. Seeing it being passed from one person to the next, causing proclamations of freedom and breakthroughs of hope was indescribable. But it also scared me a little, I have never experienced the feeling or even seen the extent of what it can do. I was unsure if I could humble myself enough to genuinely accept what was happening. But I finally got over my fears and nerves and just accepted the Holy Spirit and I haven’t been the same ever since, I’ve been craving for more of Him everyday.

Like I said before, I could probably go on and on about camp and get even more personal but I just wanted to touch on few things that really stood out for me and made a difference in my life. So if you made it through this long post I just ask you to pray that I stay on this high from camp as long as possible. I think I’ve been doing pretty good thus far. My whole perspective on life has changed and I enjoy where I am at. Of course we all have our moments where things are not so bright but I pray for myself that I continue to look at life through the eyes of God. I am not perfect but I’m perfect to Him. If anyone involved in Camp Converge happens to read this post, thank you for the experience and thank you for all that you do in your service to others to share His love.

And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us, and who has also put His seal on us and given us His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22